Author: Mr. Heath E. Morrison
Publisher: Unknown but probably CreateSpace
If you cannot figure out what to get that obnoxiously dry, witty friend of yours for his or her next birthday and want everyone to laugh years to come, your answer might be found in Mr. Heath E. Morrison’s book, Pun-Unciate.
This unnumbered but strictly guessing one hundred page soft bound book has an altered picture of a Venus De Milo marble statue (hand supposedly concealing naked breast with other hand holding a flowing sheet over the lower extremities) with a black curly wig on her head and titled “Afro-Dite” on the front cover. There is a Cheerios cereal photo in a scope cross hair with the title “The Bagel Seed Massacre” on the back. Need we say more about this jacket to explain its book contents?
Inside this treasure trove of rather bizarre, twisted, sometimes downright unnerving or adulterated word sayings – some with matching photographs to stimulate the brain waves – are minute glimmers of hope to get the reader to read the next page or finish the book and put it on a shelf. There is some profanity or suggestive innuendos along with stereotypical bigotry that some may find offensive. Yes, there are intended typographical errors. But what else would be expected?
There really is no beginning to this book, one introduction page and the humor starts with no rhyme, reason, or even being alphabetized. There is no table of contents, no index to research important findings, no glowing author biography or even one thoughtful book review. Many photographs are inserted to encourage creativity or day-dreaming but some have been stretched or changed to protect the innocent.
Some of Morrison’s puns have to be said out loud to understand their emphasis (Cereal Killers) or require some thought (Ab-stain – This is usually caused by spilling food on your belly) or even read more carefully to understand their double meaning (Roll Call – Your number is almost up at the bakery). Most are a play on words, used in every day common language. Some you may never want to repeat again due to visual recall.
Either for lack of funds, a broken printer or whatever, there are forty five virtually blank pages that are for like-crazy-readers to write down their own puns, each with a title page to spur on their punitive thinking.
Without really knowing Morrison personally and/or being afraid of not escaping his clutches of dry, weird humor, perhaps this was the ultimate challenge to the punster (yes, that is a word in Webster’s) as punishment, keeping him and any others like him occupied and away from us normal, unappreciated, boring souls.